Today I scattered my brother's ashes. I went to the same place where we scattered first my Dad's and then my Mum's. A beautiful spot where the river winds and twists through lush green countryside. I stood on the bridge about an hour before high tide and, with love, I completed the last physical process. As I watched the water flow underneath the bridge I let three flowers fall .... one for each member of my family. Now Michael's body is as free as his spirit.

The UK is under snow and ice. I live at the top of a very steep hill and feel pretty much marooned right now even though I'm only about a mile from the city centre! I had planned to try to walk to church (at the bottom of the hill) this morning but decided that the good Lord will probably forgive me if I decide not to risk a broken leg or arm.
Instead I've spent some time in prayer and contemplation here at home. Today is the 10th anniversary of my Mum's death and just 3 weeks ago my brother...

My brother died - peacefully and pain free - on 18th December 2009. Aspiration pneumonia and infection in his right foot and leg caused by restricted blood flow and ulcers. I have grieved for him while he was alive and, while I know there will be more tears to come, I haven't felt the need to cry yet. He is at peace now. No more pain. No more mental anguish. The dementia can't rob him of any more functionality. The journey has been hard for both of us but now he is at rest and I must move forward...

Brother came home from hospital yesterday but was readmitted today. He was fine when his carer visited 8.30 to 10.00 this morning but when the District Nurses arrived half and hour later to redress the ulcers on his feet he was slumped in the chair. Largely unresponsive. Call to GP. He requested readmission to hospital. Paramedics arrive. Michael uncooperative and a bit agressive. They can't force him to go. They leave. Nurse rings me at work. I arrive. GP visits. We agree he needs hospital. GP...

Brother is still in hospital but is likely to be discharged in a few days. The procedure to reduce pain in his feet and legs seemed to go okay and he is having antibiotics intravenously for a day or two to try to deal with infection. The ulcers on his right foot are terrible but they are an ongoing problem. When I visited today something worried me, though. In recent weeks he has had a few 'bad' days when he has refused care from his carers at home. When he went into hospital three weeks...